What opening your throat chakra really feels like.

 

It is real cute to meditate, hold crystals and chant. This is doing throat chakra work but that is not the only work that has to be done. Opening your throat chakra should be uncomfortable. Blocks do not move without resistance.

Opening your throat chakra is telling your mother she can no longer manipulate you. It’s telling her that you will not be guilted or shamed into obedience. It will be scary.  Then it’s liberating. You start to feel at home in your big girl panties and matching pumps.

Unblocking the throat means telling your good girlfriend good-bye. You mean no malice but she has  got to go. You are not a garbage can and she can no longer dump on you. Offer her a referral for a therapist or send her an invoice. Just let it be known that you love her but you can’t be around her. Do no harm but take no sh!t.

I remember when I first started standing up for myself. It felt weird to only consider myself and say what was really on my mind. It is most difficult with people you love. I often found that when my intention was to do no harm and I spoke my truth, I suddenly felt relieved. All these years I had been waiting to exhale. The major key here is that it doesn’t matter how the other person responds. Most of the time people respected what I had to say even if they were initially offended. And I was still okay when some people never got over it.

Saying no without explanation was the hardest for me. I have been conditioned to decline with commentary. Why? To accomplish this you’re just going to have to jump  feet first. Start saying no over the phone so you don’t have to look at people’s faces. Then work your way up to face to face one word convos.

If you are doing throat chakra work aka standing up for yourself,  drink throat coat tea. Stay heavy-handed on the honey and lemon. Do a lot of deep breathing and expect your throat to be a little sore.

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3 ways to use chair pose in real life.

I will start a class with chair pose. I only do this when the room is cold and we need to warm our bodies up. It’s a quick way to build heat. It’s a squat but worse. If a banging ass body is not your thing there is no need for chair pose. But for the rest of us, here are 3 real life situations where chair pose serves you.

Public Restrooms

I only wish for my enemies that they have diarrhea in the airport. Have a bowel movement in a public restroom. For the rest of you, may you only have to urinate. Ladies, you can use chair pose. Never should a public toilet your bottom meet. Hit that good chair pose with strong womanly thighs, do your business and be on your way. Lesser people will fall over themselves trying not to touch the toilet. If only they knew utkatasana.

Some get right for the short people

I asked a preschool teacher what type of consequences she had for the children. She told me they had none and all she did was redirect. What in the patience of Job is that? BISH! These kids need consequences! As far as me and my house is concerned, we have consequences. Make your kid squat with their back flush against the wall. While their legs are burning lecture them and ask questions that test their comprehension. Make those jokers have to think while their legs are shaking and burning. I promise you my darling, the back talk will cease.

Spice up your bedroom

I am only talking to folks in monogamous committed relationships. At this age I cannot endorse causal sex. Ladies, being able to hold chair pose will allow your partner to hit it from the back at many different angles. Thank me later.

 

How else do you use chair pose off the mat?

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Share your calm not your crazy!

We all hope to pass down the best parts of ourselves. I hope that King develops my love for reading. Although I don’t have much time for it these days. I hope that he has an appreciation for the arts and is creative in some way. We never intend to pass down our challenges or bad habits. I have had some challenges with depression and anxiety. Now my child is exhibiting signs of anxiety. You can’t out smart genetics and energy.

Up until now my son has been a very gregarious child. So much so, that sometimes it made me uncomfortable. My child is cute and likes to talk to strangers. Which in turn requires me to be social. I have learned to just smile and nod and then push King forward so we can continue doing whatever we were doing before he decided to make a new friend.

He is not that way anymore. This year I changed my child’s preschool because I didn’t feel like they were preparing him for kindergarten. At his new school there are fewer students. As an educator I know that the ratio for teacher to student should be low so that children can get more individualized instruction. Also his teachers look like him which I think is important in the formative years. I think I change my mind, more on that later.

King is being pushed academically. This is something he isn’t used to. King also inherited his father’s competitiveness. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing but when it is paired with his mother’s perfectionism things can get tricky. He has homework every night except on the weekends, his teachers are as stern as Catholic nuns and he has only one other male student his age to connect with. The other night while doing homework King asked, “is this perfect?”

WTF? Danger! Danger!

After I freaked out in my head, I calmly responded “It doesn’t have to be perfect son, just do your best.”

I was looking into a mirror, with the light shining brightly on my shadow self. Instead of learning my child, I was dictating who I wanted him to be. Unintentionally, I may have triggered the anxiety. I’m sorry King, mommy is doing the best she can.

To help him cope I started putting Rescue Remedy in his water bottle. Every morning he asks me a million times who is going to pick him up as if the certainty of this helps him get through the day easier. Sometimes he says he doesn’t want to go to school- this shreds my heart. And he asks what time is he being picked up. He can’t even tell time. Poor baby.

I can’t front, the academic gains he is making are impressive. But at what cost? But, I also want to raise a resilient child. I don’t what to rescue him every time things get hard. But, he is only four. Oy vey!

We also do yoga together. I introduced yoga by using this book. We practice breathing exercising as a way to manage when he is feeling nervous or scared.

I took pics of all the brown children in the book because that matters to me.

I also give him lots hugs and kisses. I tell him I love him all the time. I want him to know he doesn’t have to earn my love. It is here for him just because. I also want him to enjoy academic rigor-I know that sounds crazy as I talk about Pre-K, but that is a pitfall of being an educator. The husband and I are discussing moving him, again. (judge yourself)
I want him to reach a few more bench marks before we do but his happiness trumps all of everything. I will fill in any academic gaps and King can get back to being himself.

Meanwhile, I’m doing my best to share my calm and not my crazy. Namaste.

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How I spent my summer…..

If you went on exotic trips this summer and baked in the sun while drinking adult beverages then good for you! I played the role of mary poppins this summer. I spent my short 5 week vacation organizing my house and tackling DIY projects. Who have I become? Although I do not think I am naturally an organized person, I know that I function better when I am and so does my household. Shout out to blogger Mattie James for teaching me about batch processing. She meant it as a tool for consistent blogging but I put that batch on everything. Work outfits, short person outfits, meals,  snacks and sometimes blogging too…LOL. My mommy brain and household are in  alignment more since it’s implementation.

My Presence is a Present.

My mother in love turned 63 over the summer. She likes money so that is what my husband and I usually give her. This time I got creative and made her a money-box. Any youtube video can show you how and then you sprinkle your own cootie juice to the flavoring. I went to bank and got 63 dollars bills. Then I taped all the dollar bills together with clear tape. I recommend wrapping the money around an old toilet tissue roll to keep things in place. I stuffed it in an old tissue box and fill up any empty space with colored tissue paper. Then I had the time of my life decorating the tissue box. I have no idea where the pics of the finished product are. Trust me it was a hit. Next time I will add affirmations and/or fond memories of the person I’m creating the box for. Notes will be sprinkled in between the money.

Reclaiming My Time!

Trying to find something underneath my bathroom sink was like sticking my hand in a treasure chest and hoping for the best. No one wants to live like this, especially when I simply want a makeup wipe to remove the day. So I fixed it. I down sized my products, made a quick run to Bed Bath and Beyond and my world has changed. If I’m looking for something, I look under my sink and I can find it. It has improved my quality of life by providing me time. I'm out here like Auntie Maxine reclaiming my time. Click To Tweet

 

Slime Time!

My favorite way to spend time is with my short human. We worked on skills for school. Yes, I’m that mother, we do school work in the summer time. But I am also the mother who likes to make up songs and have improvisational dance parties in the kitchen. We spent this summer making slime. I haven’t perfected the recipe and we have to add food coloring because color makes everything better but we made some. We tried, got dirty and had fun and then summer was over. So glad I made time for the people who matter most!

Until next time, namaste.

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