Girls Trip: Movie Review

Before I actually talk about the movie I want to talk about the women that showed up to watch the movie. The day before the movie was released I tried to get tickets to go see it with my girlfriends. It was sold out. Then my husband and I decided to make it an early date night. We went to the 6:45 show. We arrived at 6:25 and there was not a decent seat left. We usually split up. Someone takes the concession line and the other finds an end seat. When I go to the movies by myself, I don’t have these problems because I bring my own snacks. There are levels to this.

Anyway, people were saving rows of seats with purses and sweaters. Annoyed, I found seats in the

Doing the most….

front of the theatre and in the middle of an aisle. The husband was heated. This also may not be a thorough review because I only heard 1/4th of the dialogue. Negroes like to talk to the screen and laugh longer than the joke requires. I paid my money to hear what was being said but I guess nobody cares about that.

The movie is hilarious. The stand out actress is Tiffany Haddish. Her career is about to take off. I don’t know how much she is really acting versus how much is just her being herself. She ain’t got no worries. Tyler Perry will keep her employed. Exhibit A:

It was great to see some of our favorite black actors together again. Queen Latifah and Jada Pinkett Smith are a recipe for success. Lorenz Tate gives us all the nostalgic feels and who doesn’t love Regina Hall?

For the eye candy we have Kofi Siriboe who is slowly coming for Idris’ spot. Along with the stellar cast; the plot also has substance.

The movie reminded me that women should make friendship a priority. Your girlfriends are the first relationships you have but it gets pushed to the back burner for spouses and children. Sisterhood is important for mental health.

Strong platonic bonds make life meaningful. I am also reminded that errybody got problems. No matter how your life looks from the outside looking in, there are always cracks in the wall. That is what makes us human, imperfection. It is important to be authentic in our friendships. When we are authentic, we can be vulnerable, when we are vulnerable, we grow. Trust is also important in friendship. A true friend knows where the bodies are buried. They will not tell your secrets or throw past transgressions in your face.

All of these aspects of friendship were explored in Girls Trip under a comedic guise, which is also important. My friends are funny, all in different ways, sometimes without trying. We have got this one life, it should be fun!

If you have girlfriends that are authentic, trustworthy and hilarious; cherish them, you are a rich woman.

Epilogue:

At the end of  movie when the ladies front line dance down New Orleans’ streets, an audience member got up out her seat and joined them. She told us she would show us how it really should be done and asked “anyone have a white rag.”

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How to survive a road trip with a 4 year old.

My first road trip with King occurred when he was a toddler and we travelled from Virginia to Kentucky. This is a ten hour drive. With the short person it was fourteen. After one of the stops King refused to get back into the carseat. His back stiffened refusing to move. Then his entire body went limp. I couldn’t blame him, we were ill prepared.

My mother, King  and I just got back from a road trip. Based on this experience, I have figured out that the trip should correspond to the child’s age. King is four so roads trips including him should be no longer than four hours. Now enter Big momma, yemoja energy into the room. Yeye bullied me into taking a 6 hour trip to Charolette, North Carolina to visit my great aunt. My great aunt is the oldest living relative out of the 9 children my great grandmother gave birth to. She is 89; she can out walk you, will fight you to wash the dishes and expects to be carried to the hairdresser every two weeks to cover her gray.

For this trip I tried to be a little more prepared. We still had to make more stops than usually making the trip 7 hours instead of 6.  First tip, pack snacks! This seems obvious but being trapped in a car with a short person who is confined to a car seat will require food. Lots of food! If you think you have over packed, pack some more. I made turkey sandwiches, packed apple sauce, oranges, graham crackers, carrots, yogurt, granola, juice and water. That was for King alone. Then I packed snacks for Yeye and I. We had two bags full of snacks.

Invest in electronics. More than one option is preferable because kids like options. Again for emphasis, it is necessary since they are trapped in a carseat. King had his personal ipad kindle and we bought a portable dvd player. Also make a child friendly playlist so that you can sing songs together to past the time. King’s favorite song right now is “Larry Boy”. It’s very catchy and reminds me of a show tune but after hearing it for the 413th time, I’m good on family road trips for the rest of the summer.

I also recommend buying a backseat organizer so that your backseat won’t end up looking like the inside of a dump truck. I still haven’t figured out how to NOT have french fries buried in every crevice. Not eating in the car is not a reasonable option when you’re stuck in traffic with a hungry and tired child. To remedy this King vacuums my backseat every weekend. He thinks its fun and I revel in it. I know there will come a time where he will abhor doing any chore I request of him.

 

Also, make frequent bathroom stops. Even if the short person says they don’t have to go, insist that they try. I guarantee you that ten minutes after you leave the rest stop your child will start whining that they have to go pee. For my very trill parents bring along a portable toilet if you wish. That life is not for me. I have a boy so he can piss on the street if I’m under pressure………. judge yourself!

Thanksgiving will probably be the first time King travels on a plane. Moms (or Dads) out there do you have any tips? Leave them in the comments. And remember, I love you and want the best for you. Namaste!

 

 

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But are you having fun though? 7 ways to add more fun into your life.

Hey Party People,

I am officially on summer break. Thank ya! The good Lawd ended the school year right before I passed out from exhaustion. I don’t appreciate being dragged to the edge like this! This school year we buried a principal and a student. I spent so much time taking care of others meanwhile I was being held together with cheap scotch tape. Ole church people teach you not to question God but that has never made any sense to me. I got questions, lot’s of them! Why lawd?

In an effort to fill the holes that were poked in my spirit I am being deliberate about having fun. Everyday this summer I am waking up with the desire to find more joy. You know I’m a social scientist and I love being my own guinea pig. You know I am a social scientist and I love being my own guinea pig. Click To Tweet Here are seven ways that I plan on having fun this summer, on purpose.

  1. Taking dance classes. Dance reminds me of my childhood. Growing up I took classes and performed. Dance allows me to be free and creative. It is also a beautiful place to channel my fire. Raqs shaqui aka belly dance, is a style of dance that I discovered as an adult. I have practiced off and on for years. This dance allows me to celebrate myself. In belly dance class I smile at myself in the mirror moving in the most natural feminine ways and having the best time!
  2. Yoga in nature. The emphasis is on my own personal practice. I know that placing my feet in grass is very grounding for me. The vitamin D is the best medicine for my depression. Early morning yoga in the park is a great way to start the day.
  3. Going to the pool more with the short person. I love spending time with the short person. At the pool King can practice what he is learning at his swim classes. I can stare at him in awe as his makes friends quickly and easily with other short people and adults. It is fun to play with your kids.
  4. Family field trips. We are going to the beach. The guys can build sand castles and I can sip adult beverages while catching up on my reading. Big fun!
  5. Grown up time with the hubby. Gets your mind out of the gutter, but you can leave your body there. Ha! I don’t necessarily mean doing the grownup although that is always a bonus, I simply mean dating. I want to go out with my husband and have a good time, doing things that we like to do without the short person. Sorry King, you can’t go!
  6. Playing in makeup. My look is flawless natural. This look requires makeup. Never mind the contradiction. I have been having a ball finding which concealer, foundation and lipsticks look best on me. I am learning what my facial assets are and where I need to embellish. This summer I am going to try different highlighters. When the sun  hits my face I want to shimmer and catch your eye. Make you look again! LOL, such foolishness, but that’s the point!
  7. I’m going to create more content! Blogging is fun for me. Yes, it’s a tool to journal my healing and a place to offer tried and true resources to help mothers stay sane while working fulltime. But it is also a place where I get to try new things, take chances and improve. That’s fun for me.

Shakira, my belly dancer sister sums it up best:  “If I can contribute to people having fun, I would feel very fulfilled as an artist.”

Start watching at 2:23 for the hot dance sequence. This video is dated and the old technology may annoy you. The the choreography will last a lifetime.

I love you and want the best for you. Namaste!

~Thembi

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So you want to read more but don’t have the time?

As a working mother I live by my schedule. I’m a full time counselor, a part-time yoga instructor and full time mom and wife. I also have to fit in exercise which is no longer for vanity but for optimal health. And let us not forget that the short person and my husband want to eat. I like to say that I don’t watch much TV but the truth is I have no time during the week and the weekends are for family. Even though I teach folks to stay present, I often feel nostalgia for the times when I could finish reading a book in a day without interruption.

I know myself well enough to know that reading is important to me. Even though I feel like I have less time to do the things I enjoy, I have to figure out a way to make it happen. Prioritize joy! Click To Tweet Here are some ways I was able to fit more reading time into my life.

Read during your lunch break.

Sometimes I sit in the break room and fraternize with my colleagues but at least 2 times out of the week I go to my car to read my book and eat my lunch. The silence is blissful. I am currently reading You Are A Badass. I highly recommend it.

Keep books in the bathroom. 

My son has been known to follow me into the bathroom but he is quiet as long as he is near me. There are also times when I lock him out because sometimes you just want to shit in peace. Depending on how your colon is set up you can get 30-45 minutes of reading in. And for you super regular people who BM in 10 minutes; stay on the pot nobody knows what you are doing.

Take the train instead of flying.

This is a twofer. You save money by taking the train and you gain time to read because it will take you longer to get to your destination. This is a perfect way to get more reading time in when traveling for work. Train rides are my favorite way to cuddle up with a book. Click To Tweet 

Read during your pedicure.

I get regular pedicures. I spend a lot of time barefoot as a yoga instructor and I want something pretty to look at. I use this time to relax and read. I purposely leave my cellphone in the car. Gasp! So that I am not tempted to get on my device. This time is specifically for reading. I have also had to tell the lovely lady removing dry skin and ingrown nails to stop talking to me. I know she is being chatty because she wants a nice tip. Ma’am its unnecessary, shut your pie hole. Your tip is the same no matter what.

Try audio books.

This is kind of cheating but moms have to create short cuts all the time for our sanity. I have a nice commute to and from work. Big Magic is kind of thick and I need something inspirational playing in the background as I navigate traffic. There is also a better chance that I will finish it as an audible book. There are at least four unfinished books sitting on my nightstand. Summer break is coming, so maybe I’ll be able to finish a book or two.

Working moms, how do you prioritize reading?

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3 ways to tap into your intuition

Becoming a mother requires that you activate your superpowers. The ability to tap into your intuition is one of them. The ability to make decisions based solely on your gut, holy spirit, intuition or whatever you’d like to call it; and the ability to be confident that you have made the right decision requires practice.

Shut The F*&K Up!

The first thing you need to do is shut up.  You cannot hear your intuition if you are always flapping your gums or thinking (which is mentally flapping your gums). You must learn to be still and listen. Find a quiet a spot, I always recommend sitting on the floor for grounding purposes, acknowledge your intuition and ask it to help you make a decision. Start with a small specific question and then work up to the larger more critical decisions. It will take time to differentiate between your own voice and your intuition. Here is a tip, your intuition will only vibrate at the level of love, it is you God consciousness. Any answer that does not have love at the center is not your intuition leading you. Your intuition will never tell you to do harm but it will protect you from harm.

Listen To Your Gut.

Secondly, learn your body. That uneasy feeling you get in your stomach when a sketchy person walks in the room or when the hair on your arms or the back of your neck stand up. What was going on the last time you got goose bumps? These are physical signs of your intuition talking to you. Your body is responding involuntarily and the responses are information. Listen to your body. Click To Tweet

Get Free Writing.

Lastly, free write. One of my favorite books, The Artist’s Way  explains free writing and provides exercises, I highly recommend reading it.  Free write for five minutes, brain dump everything without thinking about or evaluating it. Do not worry about punctuation, grammar or spelling. Simply get the words on the paper. Set a timer. When the timer goes off get a clean sheet of paper. Ask your intuition a specific question, a superficial one. Try the free writing for 90 days before asking it about the tough stuff.  After you have asked your intuition to guide you, allow the answer to come through you onto the paper without thinking too hard or judging what is is being written. I recommend having a journal specifically for free writes and another for answers from your intuition. Let me know if these tips helped you and share with me if you have a different way of tapping into your intuition. I’d love to read about it in the comments.

 

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