Dang on write it is a thing! My 40th birthday was lit. I do not care if you think I’m too old to use that word. I have dedicated this new decade to traveling more. I booked a trip to Mexico as birthday present to myself. Yeye and the in-laws tended to the short person while the husbanator and I took our first vacation since King was born.
We went to Mexico and got a much needed break along with the ability to sleep in with no alarm clock and we consumed large amounts of vitamin D while sipping adult beverages. I also got an unexpected treat. My husband threw me a surprise party. Bless his heart! He got all the people who love me to fill up a room. I have never thrown myself a party because I used to believe a lie. I believed that because I was such an introvert I would never have enough friends to fill up a room. That was a lie! A horrible lie from the pit of hell.
I was so overwhelmed by the love, I started to cry. I cried, an ugly cry and hugged and kissed everyone in the room. My cousin told me she had never seen me cry before, not even at our grandmother’s funeral. The shade!
Even though turning 40 brought a great deal of joy it also brings introspection. I had to revisit the reasons I have this blog, like what is the point? Why do I keep writing? Why do I advocate wellness for mothers, especially in the area of mental health?
The answer is simple. I can’t help it. No matter how far I run I always end up back here; writing, teaching and advocating because this is how I choose to do life. And guess what!? There is a niche for my age group with a lot of dope bloggers to be inspired by. I am in great company, here are few of my favs, check them out:
Satan tried it, but I’m a demon slayer. The recent political climate has made me physically ill. I’ve tried various coping mechanisms. The first was to flee. I refused to watch the news, I closed down my facebook account and kept checking the date on my passport. Family is an anchor, if it weren’t for the guys I would be in another country right now. Cuba is looking very inviting and I still have family in Jamaica.
Then here comes sadness. I’ve been in my feelings; feeding them bagels, fries and refined sugar. Finally arriving at rage, my inner seething literally broke my immune system down. During the MLK weekend and the inauguration weekend I was sick in bed unable to do anything but sleep.
So my first order of action is MORE self care. Loving on myself is priority number one. I must be more intentional with taking care of myself which means trying new things for the benefit of my total wellness. I reintroduced myself to lavender. I haven’t been a fan in the past but I have found three ways to integrated lavender into my life and receive its calming benefit.
I drink Yogi’s Stress Relief Honey Lavender Tea. I made the mistake of drinking this tea at the day job and kept nodding off while the children were talking to me. Don’t be like me. Drink it before going to bed for optimum results. Another thing that has been helping me maintain is the use of oils. While decluttering I found a vial of lavender and vanilla oil. I place a few drops on temples and wrists during meditation. Focusing on the scent helps me find stillness quickly.
The family fave is Ganga incense. It is a mixture of cinnamon, lavender and jasmine. If heaven had a smell, this would be it. You only have to burn it for a few minutes for it to permeate the house. It changes the vibe instantly.
I know things appear bleak but take care of yourself. Remember that not much freedom fighting can be done from the inside of a straitjacket.
Walk into 2017 with purpose. Trust yourself and stay focused. Here is an affirmation to assist with that:
I am always at the right place at the right time, engaged in the right activities with the right people.
Look past appearances. The ability to do this will help you keep a positive attitude. A good attitude is good for your pressure. When you find yourself in a challenging predicament repeat this affirmation to yourself:
Everything is always working out for me.
When your bank account isn’t reflecting all the abundance that is your birthright, you can help change the tide with this:
I am in divine flow. Money flows to me in avalanches, without ceasing and with ease.
(if you ain’t new here, you already know this one.)
Some of us know depression well. It is a family member. For some people, a distant relative that only visits occasionally and for others it is a twin sister. Here is an affirmation to remind you there is nothing you can do nor “feel” that will separate you from the love of God:
I am made in the image and likeness of God. I am enough. I am important and have something special to offer the world. I matter.
For those of your that have altars and/or meditate, here are some affirmations to help call in the Holy Spirit. This affirmation will help your tap into your intuition:
I am the co-creator of my life. I am a spiritual being having a human experience. I am led by righteousness. Use me.
You know I am a girl who loves affirmations but affirmations alone will not change your life. Change requires action! After you have said all of the affirmations to create the energy/vibration around the thing you want to do, make sure you DO something. Write your book, take that class, start your business and change your habits. When you lose momentum return to the affirmations but don’t quit, keep moving! Happy New Year!
I have been slipping this summer and gained 20 pounds. Accepting my body post baby takes a consistent effort. I have to be mindful=present to what is happening with my body right now and the truth of the matter is that my metabolism is slowing down. I am a woman of a particular age and my body requires a different type maintenance. It is also true that I’ve been neglecting myself and the weight gain is a result of that.
Self-care is a result of self-love. Loves comes from acceptance. The more I accept myself regardless of how I look the easier it gets to look the way I want. See, how that works? I had to teach my self not to feel guilty or indulgent when taking care of myself. These 3 steps have helped me and remind me of what is most important: me.
Schedule your self-care just like you schedule your doctor appointments. For me Friday nights are for baths. I make sure I get to soak in water uninterrupted for 30 minutes. You can listen to music, drink wine or meditate. This time is for you. I have also started taking walks at work during my 30 min lunch. Yes, girl I don’t even get a whole hour. At least 5 days a week I am getting in 30 minutes of exercise and its a great way to clear your mind.
Make your self-care a priority. Explain to the spouse and the short people, this is your time and let them know that you appreciate their support. If you take a bath at the same time every week it becomes a habit. You also teach those who love you to respect your new habit.
Get a sister friend to hold you accountable. The buddy system isn’t just for the kindergartener. Find a friend that you can text every Friday night after your bath. The bonus is you get to catch up with your friend that you’ve neglected since you began MOMing.
Have you made self-care a habit? If not, there is no time like the present.