Healthy Mommy

What opening your throat chakra really feels like.

 

It is real cute to meditate, hold crystals and chant. This is doing throat chakra work but that is not the only work that has to be done. Opening your throat chakra should be uncomfortable. Blocks do not move without resistance.

Opening your throat chakra is telling your mother she can no longer manipulate you. It’s telling her that you will not be guilted or shamed into obedience. It will be scary.  Then it’s liberating. You start to feel at home in your big girl panties and matching pumps.

Unblocking the throat means telling your good girlfriend good-bye. You mean no malice but she has  got to go. You are not a garbage can and she can no longer dump on you. Offer her a referral for a therapist or send her an invoice. Just let it be known that you love her but you can’t be around her. Do no harm but take no sh!t.

I remember when I first started standing up for myself. It felt weird to only consider myself and say what was really on my mind. It is most difficult with people you love. I often found that when my intention was to do no harm and I spoke my truth, I suddenly felt relieved. All these years I had been waiting to exhale. The major key here is that it doesn’t matter how the other person responds. Most of the time people respected what I had to say even if they were initially offended. And I was still okay when some people never got over it.

Saying no without explanation was the hardest for me. I have been conditioned to decline with commentary. Why? To accomplish this you’re just going to have to jump  feet first. Start saying no over the phone so you don’t have to look at people’s faces. Then work your way up to face to face one word convos.

If you are doing throat chakra work aka standing up for yourself,  drink throat coat tea. Stay heavy-handed on the honey and lemon. Do a lot of deep breathing and expect your throat to be a little sore.

3 ways to use chair pose in real life.

I will start a class with chair pose. I only do this when the room is cold and we need to warm our bodies up. It’s a quick way to build heat. It’s a squat but worse. If a banging ass body is not your thing there is no need for chair pose. But for the rest of us, here are 3 real life situations where chair pose serves you.

Public Restrooms

I only wish for my enemies that they have diarrhea in the airport. Have a bowel movement in a public restroom. For the rest of you, may you only have to urinate. Ladies, you can use chair pose. Never should a public toilet your bottom meet. Hit that good chair pose with strong womanly thighs, do your business and be on your way. Lesser people will fall over themselves trying not to touch the toilet. If only they knew utkatasana.

Some get right for the short people

I asked a preschool teacher what type of consequences she had for the children. She told me they had none and all she did was redirect. What in the patience of Job is that? BISH! These kids need consequences! As far as me and my house is concerned, we have consequences. Make your kid squat with their back flush against the wall. While their legs are burning lecture them and ask questions that test their comprehension. Make those jokers have to think while their legs are shaking and burning. I promise you my darling, the back talk will cease.

Spice up your bedroom

I am only talking to folks in monogamous committed relationships. At this age I cannot endorse causal sex. Ladies, being able to hold chair pose will allow your partner to hit it from the back at many different angles. Thank me later.

 

How else do you use chair pose off the mat?

How I spent my summer…..

If you went on exotic trips this summer and baked in the sun while drinking adult beverages then good for you! I played the role of mary poppins this summer. I spent my short 5 week vacation organizing my house and tackling DIY projects. Who have I become? Although I do not think I am naturally an organized person, I know that I function better when I am and so does my household. Shout out to blogger Mattie James for teaching me about batch processing. She meant it as a tool for consistent blogging but I put that batch on everything. Work outfits, short person outfits, meals,  snacks and sometimes blogging too…LOL. My mommy brain and household are in  alignment more since it’s implementation.

My Presence is a Present.

My mother in love turned 63 over the summer. She likes money so that is what my husband and I usually give her. This time I got creative and made her a money-box. Any youtube video can show you how and then you sprinkle your own cootie juice to the flavoring. I went to bank and got 63 dollars bills. Then I taped all the dollar bills together with clear tape. I recommend wrapping the money around an old toilet tissue roll to keep things in place. I stuffed it in an old tissue box and fill up any empty space with colored tissue paper. Then I had the time of my life decorating the tissue box. I have no idea where the pics of the finished product are. Trust me it was a hit. Next time I will add affirmations and/or fond memories of the person I’m creating the box for. Notes will be sprinkled in between the money.

Reclaiming My Time!

Trying to find something underneath my bathroom sink was like sticking my hand in a treasure chest and hoping for the best. No one wants to live like this, especially when I simply want a makeup wipe to remove the day. So I fixed it. I down sized my products, made a quick run to Bed Bath and Beyond and my world has changed. If I’m looking for something, I look under my sink and I can find it. It has improved my quality of life by providing me time. I'm out here like Auntie Maxine reclaiming my time. Click To Tweet

 

Slime Time!

My favorite way to spend time is with my short human. We worked on skills for school. Yes, I’m that mother, we do school work in the summer time. But I am also the mother who likes to make up songs and have improvisational dance parties in the kitchen. We spent this summer making slime. I haven’t perfected the recipe and we have to add food coloring because color makes everything better but we made some. We tried, got dirty and had fun and then summer was over. So glad I made time for the people who matter most!

Until next time, namaste.

Hi sister, it’s nice to meet you.

I feel like I need to add a new tab to my blog called healing daddy issues. This is important work especially for those of us raising boys. I do believe King was sent to me to initiate that process. An unexpected consequence of fostering a relationship with my father is developing new relationships with siblings.

Surprise! I have two sisters. I met one this spring at her high school graduation. I was hesitant to go because I didn’t want to ruin her day. My father encouraged me to go. I wasn’t convinced that this was a good idea. You know me, I had a few questions. Would she be willing to meet another time? Does her Momma know I’m coming? Would meeting me make he anxious on her special day?

The baby bro calls asking me if I’m going. I started in with my questions and he promptly interrupted me by the second one. He suggested we call her and ask directly. Baby bro is a genius. Little sis followed up with me asking for my mailing address to send an invitation. It was settled. I was going.

I planned on meeting her after the graduation but fate would have it that we bumped into to each other during a bathroom run. She was sweet and embraced me. She looked very pretty. My dad makes good looking kids.

After the graduation there was a bunch of hurry up and wait. Dad tried to find little sis in crowd of people to take pictures. Baby bro and I hung around telling bad jokes. Here is an example:

Baby bro: If we grew up together you would be more fun.

Me: If we grew up together you would be more responsible.

The best humor stings. We all ended up at the graduation party which you know had me nervous. Then I found out it was out doors. It’s not that I don’t like nature, I respect mother earth and everything. It’s just that I don’t respect the mosquitos who feast on my body. I always leave outdoor events itchy and swollen. It was a lovely event and baby sister’s mother was especially kind to me. She asked about King and asked my opinion on the college little sis  was attending. By the end of our pleasant convo I promised I would keep an eye on her for the next 4 years.

Baby sis has sisters she grew up with. Of all the things I made up to worry about, I never concerned myself with the personalities of my sister’s sister. Big personality asked in a very loud voice if little sis wanted to help her STEP sister get some food. Both my father and little sis corrected her to say “half”. The odd thing is that big personality and little sis are also half sisters. Why did BP make such a big deal about that? I didn’t know but I took note.

While seated at a table with baby bro, dad, his wife and my husband; BP once again starts to loud talk. She turns around a points to baby bro and says to a guest “and that’s little sister’s brother.”

She turns back to her guest but not before making eye contact with me. Baby bro chuckles and says, “I see you have a fan.”

The husband was being super sweet and supportive or maybe he was just making sure I didn’t show out. Pranayama is a magical thing. Thank everything thats holy I have been doing my work. My little sister will be an hour away from me starting in September. I’m looking forward to getting to know her.

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