I will start a class with chair pose. I only do this when the room is cold and we need to warm our bodies up. It’s a quick way to build heat. It’s a squat but worse. If a banging ass body is not your thing there is no need for chair pose. But for the rest of us, here are 3 real life situations where chair pose serves you.
I only wish for my enemies that they have diarrhea in the airport. Have a bowel movement in a public restroom. For the rest of you, may you only have to urinate. Ladies, you can use chair pose. Never should a public toilet your bottom meet. Hit that good chair pose with strong womanly thighs, do your business and be on your way. Lesser people will fall over themselves trying not to touch the toilet. If only they knew utkatasana.
Some get right for the short people
I asked a preschool teacher what type of consequences she had for the children. She told me they had none and all she did was redirect. What in the patience of Job is that? BISH! These kids need consequences! As far as me and my house is concerned, we have consequences. Make your kid squat with their back flush against the wall. While their legs are burning lecture them and ask questions that test their comprehension. Make those jokers have to think while their legs are shaking and burning. I promise you my darling, the back talk will cease.
Spice up your bedroom
I am only talking to folks in monogamous committed relationships. At this age I cannot endorse causal sex. Ladies, being able to hold chair pose will allow your partner to hit it from the back at many different angles. Thank me later.
I am officially on summer break. Thank ya! The good Lawd ended the school year right before I passed out from exhaustion. I don’t appreciate being dragged to the edge like this! This school year we buried a principal and a student. I spent so much time taking care of others meanwhile I was being held together with cheap scotch tape. Ole church people teach you not to question God but that has never made any sense to me. I got questions, lot’s of them! Why lawd?
Taking dance classes. Dance reminds me of my childhood. Growing up I took classes and performed. Dance allows me to be free and creative. It is also a beautiful place to channel my fire. Raqs shaqui aka belly dance, is a style of dance that I discovered as an adult. I have practiced off and on for years. This dance allows me to celebrate myself. In belly dance class I smile at myself in the mirror moving in the most natural feminine ways and having the best time!
Yoga in nature. The emphasis is on my own personal practice.I know that placing my feet in grass is very grounding for me. The vitamin D is the best medicine for my depression. Early morning yoga in the park is a great way to start the day.
Going to the pool more with the short person. I love spending time with the short person. At the pool King can practice what he is learning at his swim classes. I can stare at him in awe as his makes friends quickly and easily with other short people and adults. It is fun to play with your kids.
Family field trips. We are going to the beach. The guys can build sand castles and I can sip adult beverages while catching up on my reading. Big fun!
Grown up time with the hubby. Gets your mind out of the gutter, but you can leave your body there. Ha! I don’t necessarily mean doing the grownup although that is always a bonus, I simply mean dating. I want to go out with my husband and have a good time, doing things that we like to do without the short person. Sorry King, you can’t go!
Playing in makeup. My look is flawless natural. This look requires makeup. Never mind the contradiction. I have been having a ball finding which concealer, foundation and lipsticks look best on me. I am learning what my facial assets are and where I need to embellish. This summer I am going to try different highlighters. When the sun hits my face I want to shimmer and catch your eye. Make you look again! LOL, such foolishness, but that’s the point!
I’m going to create more content! Blogging is fun for me. Yes, it’s a tool to journal my healing and a place to offer tried and true resources to help mothers stay sane while working fulltime. But it is also a place where I get to try new things, take chances and improve. That’s fun for me.
Shakira, my belly dancer sister sums it up best: “If I can contribute to people having fun, I would feel very fulfilled as an artist.”
Start watching at 2:23 for the hot dance sequence. This video is dated and the old technology may annoy you. The the choreography will last a lifetime.
Dang on write it is a thing! My 40th birthday was lit. I do not care if you think I’m too old to use that word. I have dedicated this new decade to traveling more. I booked a trip to Mexico as birthday present to myself. Yeye and the in-laws tended to the short person while the husbanator and I took our first vacation since King was born.
We went to Mexico and got a much needed break along with the ability to sleep in with no alarm clock and we consumed large amounts of vitamin D while sipping adult beverages. I also got an unexpected treat. My husband threw me a surprise party. Bless his heart! He got all the people who love me to fill up a room. I have never thrown myself a party because I used to believe a lie. I believed that because I was such an introvert I would never have enough friends to fill up a room. That was a lie! A horrible lie from the pit of hell.
I was so overwhelmed by the love, I started to cry. I cried, an ugly cry and hugged and kissed everyone in the room. My cousin told me she had never seen me cry before, not even at our grandmother’s funeral. The shade!
Even though turning 40 brought a great deal of joy it also brings introspection. I had to revisit the reasons I have this blog, like what is the point? Why do I keep writing? Why do I advocate wellness for mothers, especially in the area of mental health?
The answer is simple. I can’t help it. No matter how far I run I always end up back here; writing, teaching and advocating because this is how I choose to do life. And guess what!? There is a niche for my age group with a lot of dope bloggers to be inspired by. I am in great company, here are few of my favs, check them out:
Satan tried it, but I’m a demon slayer. The recent political climate has made me physically ill. I’ve tried various coping mechanisms. The first was to flee. I refused to watch the news, I closed down my facebook account and kept checking the date on my passport. Family is an anchor, if it weren’t for the guys I would be in another country right now. Cuba is looking very inviting and I still have family in Jamaica.
Then here comes sadness. I’ve been in my feelings; feeding them bagels, fries and refined sugar. Finally arriving at rage, my inner seething literally broke my immune system down. During the MLK weekend and the inauguration weekend I was sick in bed unable to do anything but sleep.
So my first order of action is MORE self care. Loving on myself is priority number one. I must be more intentional with taking care of myself which means trying new things for the benefit of my total wellness. I reintroduced myself to lavender. I haven’t been a fan in the past but I have found three ways to integrated lavender into my life and receive its calming benefit.
I drink Yogi’s Stress Relief Honey Lavender Tea. I made the mistake of drinking this tea at the day job and kept nodding off while the children were talking to me. Don’t be like me. Drink it before going to bed for optimum results. Another thing that has been helping me maintain is the use of oils. While decluttering I found a vial of lavender and vanilla oil. I place a few drops on temples and wrists during meditation. Focusing on the scent helps me find stillness quickly.
The family fave is Ganga incense. It is a mixture of cinnamon, lavender and jasmine. If heaven had a smell, this would be it. You only have to burn it for a few minutes for it to permeate the house. It changes the vibe instantly.
I know things appear bleak but take care of yourself. Remember that not much freedom fighting can be done from the inside of a straitjacket.
Even though I call myself a yogi I don’t really know what that means. I’m really not a Zen kind of person but I am always seeking enlightenment. Suppression of my rage is a daily fight. Rage is depression in Shango clothing. I’m on a life long journey to tame my crazy. Here’s the tea: only when you surrender to your rage, allowing yourself to feel it completely, will you find ways to calm it. Rage requires patience and diplomacy. Here are some unusual facts about me as I learn to manage mine:
In yoga teacher training during our lesson about the Yamas and Niyamas, I was battling gnats. While learning the life principle Ahimsa/nonviolence, I was smacking the sh*t out of gnats. I am not a nature girl. I appreciate nature’s beauty and wonder but I prefer to appreciate it from the window of my air conditioned home. I want to challenge myself this coming year. I’ve considered hiking. I will let you know how that goes. If I’m lucky, a side effect will be a change in my body; which brings me to the second unusual fact….
I gained the thirty pounds back that I lost after giving birth to the short person. On this side of the emotional pendulum I have less discipline. I’m not practicing Tapas. I let my sweet tooth run wild. Instead of doing more yoga, I do none- unless I’m teaching. And now here I am as the fat belly Buddha. I know clients feel anxiety and consider getting a refund when they see that a chunky black lady with a pot belly will be leading their practice. And my ego -(another thing I am working on) is pleased when clients end up panting, surprised and satisfied by the time savasana finally rolls around.
I may curse while leading you through your practice. I have a potty mouth and I am really not working on that. Om shanti.
My biggie yoga pants are my favorite. Clients can predict what type of class we are going to have when I’m rocking them.
I’m a seafood junkie and I wear fur. If I’m not eating meat it’s because of my waistline not compassion for farm animals.”Tell peta my mink is dragging on the floor.”
Ever since the election my personal yoga practice has suffered. Winter time plus my disappointment in America has heightened my seasonal affect disorder. I am no longer feeling innovative or experimental. To fill up my bag of tricks, I find unique poses on instagram and try them out in yoga class. Sometimes the clients and I are practicing an asana for the first time together in class.
I belong to the mommy gang that is too hard on ourselves because we are comparing ourselves to an instagram highlight reel. I see you with all your imperfections. You see me with all of mine. But we are perfect in our children’s eyes and we must remember this! At least until they get into middle school and start judging us. Be present for every moment, even the times that are painful.