Dang on write it is a thing! My 40th birthday was lit. I do not care if you think I’m too old to use that word. I have dedicated this new decade to traveling more. I booked a trip to Mexico as birthday present to myself. Yeye and the in-laws tended to the short person while the husbanator and I took our first vacation since King was born.
We went to Mexico and got a much needed break along with the ability to sleep in with no alarm clock and we consumed large amounts of vitamin D while sipping adult beverages. I also got an unexpected treat. My husband threw me a surprise party. Bless his heart! He got all the people who love me to fill up a room. I have never thrown myself a party because I used to believe a lie. I believed that because I was such an introvert I would never have enough friends to fill up a room. That was a lie! A horrible lie from the pit of hell.
I was so overwhelmed by the love, I started to cry. I cried, an ugly cry and hugged and kissed everyone in the room. My cousin told me she had never seen me cry before, not even at our grandmother’s funeral. The shade!
Even though turning 40 brought a great deal of joy it also brings introspection. I had to revisit the reasons I have this blog, like what is the point? Why do I keep writing? Why do I advocate wellness for mothers, especially in the area of mental health?
The answer is simple. I can’t help it. No matter how far I run I always end up back here; writing, teaching and advocating because this is how I choose to do life. And guess what!? There is a niche for my age group with a lot of dope bloggers to be inspired by. I am in great company, here are few of my favs, check them out:
Satan tried it, but I’m a demon slayer. The recent political climate has made me physically ill. I’ve tried various coping mechanisms. The first was to flee. I refused to watch the news, I closed down my facebook account and kept checking the date on my passport. Family is an anchor, if it weren’t for the guys I would be in another country right now. Cuba is looking very inviting and I still have family in Jamaica.
Then here comes sadness. I’ve been in my feelings; feeding them bagels, fries and refined sugar. Finally arriving at rage, my inner seething literally broke my immune system down. During the MLK weekend and the inauguration weekend I was sick in bed unable to do anything but sleep.
So my first order of action is MORE self care. Loving on myself is priority number one. I must be more intentional with taking care of myself which means trying new things for the benefit of my total wellness. I reintroduced myself to lavender. I haven’t been a fan in the past but I have found three ways to integrated lavender into my life and receive its calming benefit.
I drink Yogi’s Stress Relief Honey Lavender Tea. I made the mistake of drinking this tea at the day job and kept nodding off while the children were talking to me. Don’t be like me. Drink it before going to bed for optimum results. Another thing that has been helping me maintain is the use of oils. While decluttering I found a vial of lavender and vanilla oil. I place a few drops on temples and wrists during meditation. Focusing on the scent helps me find stillness quickly.
The family fave is Ganga incense. It is a mixture of cinnamon, lavender and jasmine. If heaven had a smell, this would be it. You only have to burn it for a few minutes for it to permeate the house. It changes the vibe instantly.
I know things appear bleak but take care of yourself. Remember that not much freedom fighting can be done from the inside of a straitjacket.
Is your day job stressing you out? Do feel invisible or undervalued? Are your ideas only good when they come out of a man or white person’s mouth? Is your intelligence questioned? Are you surviving a situation until the next good idea? Then this blog is for you!
Put on Your Spiritual Armor.
Use your tools. I have a coworker who anoints her classroom with holy water. I use a Himalayan pink salt rock lamp to promote peace in my office. You can pray out loud in your car on the way to work. Do not turn on the radio, speak to your creator and ask for God’s protection in the workplace. Arm your self by wearing amulets that ward off haters. Meditate before work using imagery to build a force field of protection around you. Whatever spiritual tricks you have in your grab bag, this is the time to whip them out.
This is the antithesis of what your feelings will tell you to do. Your hurt feelings will make you want to behave badly, don’t do it. When you are being overlooked, work harder. Make sure that you are doing your very best so that if anyone questions your worth work you know with certainty that whatever issue they have with you has nothing to do with the work.
Be a Great Time Manager.
Get to work early. Be efficient when you’re there. Make sure you take your breaks but no slacking off during the day. Make the most of your time, then break the hell out!
Have a Healthy Outlet.
I like my wine just like the next chick but my waist line doesn’t. I find that Bikram yoga or belly dance class are the perfect remedy for me. I find that no matter how tired or depressed I’m feeling; rigorous exercise shakes the funk off me. Also, fellowship with my sisters at dance class is always an energy boost. If you don’t have any good sisters in your life, you are doing life wrong.
Have an Exit Plan.
We can endure more when we know there is an end to our suffering. Increase your professional development so that you can acquire new and marketable skills that can hopefully move you into another job. Make a plan, a clear choice that others may not understand but you know is perfect for you.
Hang in there! Beep. This is Only a Test. Namaste.
Recently my friend texted me:
What herbs do you take?
Me: For what?
Her: For anything, energy, poop, memory.
I’m not a 5 paragraph texter and since we are both of a particular age we know what phone conversations are. The answer to this question definitely warranted a convo. I hope she calls or simply reads this blog.
Calming the crazy: -Ashwagandha -Skull Cap -St. John’s wort -Vitamin D (vitamins are the cousins of herbs)
Balancing Hormones/Time of the Month: -Vitex aka Chasteberry (needs to be taken on a regular basis. Stop taking while menstruating) -Red Raspberry
-Digestive Enzymes (enzymes & minerals are the atoms of herbs)
-SauerKraut (food not an herb)
-Probiotics (not an herb)
Constipation:I don’t really have these issues anymore, now that I have cleaned up my diet and cut back on dairy. But girlfriend did specifically ask about this one.
-Flax seeds (do not use if you have fibroids)
-Senna (I only used this when I was cleansing. It is pretty severe)
Follow me on snapchat @akingsma where you can see what herbs I use on a daily basis Here is a sneak peek: stomach is jacked!