What opening your throat chakra really feels like.


It is real cute to meditate, hold crystals and chant. This is doing throat chakra work but that is not the only work that has to be done. Opening your throat chakra should be uncomfortable. Blocks do not move without resistance.

Opening your throat chakra is telling your mother she can no longer manipulate you. It’s telling her that you will not be guilted or shamed into obedience. It will be scary.  Then it’s liberating. You start to feel at home in your big girl panties and matching pumps.

Unblocking the throat means telling your good girlfriend good-bye. You mean no malice but she has  got to go. You are not a garbage can and she can no longer dump on you. Offer her a referral for a therapist or send her an invoice. Just let it be known that you love her but you can’t be around her. Do no harm but take no sh!t.

I remember when I first started standing up for myself. It felt weird to only consider myself and say what was really on my mind. It is most difficult with people you love. I often found that when my intention was to do no harm and I spoke my truth, I suddenly felt relieved. All these years I had been waiting to exhale. The major key here is that it doesn’t matter how the other person responds. Most of the time people respected what I had to say even if they were initially offended. And I was still okay when some people never got over it.

Saying no without explanation was the hardest for me. I have been conditioned to decline with commentary. Why? To accomplish this you’re just going to have to jump  feet first. Start saying no over the phone so you don’t have to look at people’s faces. Then work your way up to face to face one word convos.

If you are doing throat chakra work aka standing up for yourself,  drink throat coat tea. Stay heavy-handed on the honey and lemon. Do a lot of deep breathing and expect your throat to be a little sore.

3 ways to tap into your intuition

Becoming a mother requires that you activate your superpowers. The ability to tap into your intuition is one of them. The ability to make decisions based solely on your gut, holy spirit, intuition or whatever you’d like to call it; and the ability to be confident that you have made the right decision requires practice.

Shut The F*&K Up!

The first thing you need to do is shut up.  You cannot hear your intuition if you are always flapping your gums or thinking (which is mentally flapping your gums). You must learn to be still and listen. Find a quiet a spot, I always recommend sitting on the floor for grounding purposes, acknowledge your intuition and ask it to help you make a decision. Start with a small specific question and then work up to the larger more critical decisions. It will take time to differentiate between your own voice and your intuition. Here is a tip, your intuition will only vibrate at the level of love, it is you God consciousness. Any answer that does not have love at the center is not your intuition leading you. Your intuition will never tell you to do harm but it will protect you from harm.

Listen To Your Gut.

Secondly, learn your body. That uneasy feeling you get in your stomach when a sketchy person walks in the room or when the hair on your arms or the back of your neck stand up. What was going on the last time you got goose bumps? These are physical signs of your intuition talking to you. Your body is responding involuntarily and the responses are information. Listen to your body. Click To Tweet

Get Free Writing.

Lastly, free write. One of my favorite books, The Artist’s Way  explains free writing and provides exercises, I highly recommend reading it.  Free write for five minutes, brain dump everything without thinking about or evaluating it. Do not worry about punctuation, grammar or spelling. Simply get the words on the paper. Set a timer. When the timer goes off get a clean sheet of paper. Ask your intuition a specific question, a superficial one. Try the free writing for 90 days before asking it about the tough stuff.  After you have asked your intuition to guide you, allow the answer to come through you onto the paper without thinking too hard or judging what is is being written. I recommend having a journal specifically for free writes and another for answers from your intuition. Let me know if these tips helped you and share with me if you have a different way of tapping into your intuition. I’d love to read about it in the comments.


40 year old blogger, is that a thing?

40 year old blogger, is that a thing?

Dang on write it is a thing! My 40th birthday was lit. I do not care if you think I’m too old to use that word. I have dedicated this new decade to traveling more. I booked a trip to Mexico as birthday present to myself. Yeye and the in-laws tended to the short person while the husbanator and I took our first vacation since King was born.

Mayan Ruins


Riviera Maya, Akumal


Trying to maintain my warrior on top of a hill.

We went to Mexico and got a much needed break along with the ability to sleep in with no alarm clock and we consumed large amounts of vitamin D while sipping adult beverages. I also got an unexpected treat. My husband threw me a surprise party. Bless his heart! He got all the people who love me to fill up a room. I have never thrown myself a party because I used to believe a lie. I believed that because I was such an introvert I would never have enough friends to fill up a room. That was a lie! A horrible lie from the pit of hell.

I was so overwhelmed by the love, I started to cry. I cried, an ugly cry and hugged and kissed everyone in the room. My cousin told me she had never seen me cry before, not even at our grandmother’s funeral. The shade!

Me with the cuzzo and my ugly cry!


The bestie was in on it too!


The husbanator had t-shirts made

Even though turning 40 brought a great deal of joy it also brings introspection. I had to revisit the reasons I have this blog, like what is the point? Why do I keep writing? Why do I advocate wellness for mothers, especially in the area of mental health?

Turning 40 brings clarity! Click To Tweet

The answer is simple. I can’t help it. No matter how far I run I always end up back here; writing, teaching and advocating because this is how I choose to do life. And guess what!? There is a niche for my age group with a lot of dope bloggers to be inspired by. I am in great company, here are few of my favs, check them out:

Mommy Talk Show
Abiola Abrams
Fashion on the 4th floor
Sonia Marie

These women are brown, brilliant and 40 or over. These women serve as reminders and as winks from the universe that all things are possible. Namaste.

Hidden Figures: A Movie Review

I have been walking around this planet arrogant af. I just knew I could win millions in any black history jeopardy game and there was no hotep or historian that could tell me differently. This is proof that arrogance serves no purpose: I had no idea who Katherine Johnson, Mary Jackson, and Dorothy Vaughan were. To add insult to injury, I attended Hampton University, a historically black college, just a few miles away from Norfolk where ground breaking history was made. If I missed learning about them in my black militant home growing up; at least I could have learned about them in an institution of higher learning dedicated to educating black people.

But noooooo, I was ignorant. Knowing about a black female mathematician like Kathy Johnson may have changed my dysfunctional relationship with math. It may have given me a boost of self-esteem so that I wouldn’t cower in the face of quadratic equations. But here I am, a very grown woman learning something new about black history. I am grateful.

Race & Gender

The movie captured soft nuances of the intersectionality of race and gender. Even when Kathy, (Taraji P. Henson) was recognized as the “genius in the room”, her womaness was ignored. Kathy’s boss, Al Harrison (Kevin Costner) tore down the colored bathroom sign and desegregated the NASA bathrooms. His reasons were selfish, he wanted her to be more accessible to him but it was still a milestone. Juxtapose, Al always told his staff to call their wives when they were going to work late, never acknowledging that Kathy might have a husband and children to call. He always addressed his staff using male pronouns when Kathy was in front of his face, in a “shirt below her knees” and sensible kitten heels, clearly female.

White Women: Friend or Foe? 

Dorothy Vaughn (Octavia Spencer) did the work of a supervisor without receiving supervisor compensation. When Dorothy asked Vivian Michael (Karen Dunst) about her supervisor application she was told because she was Negro she wouldn’t be considered. It took Dorothy figuring out how to use one of the first computers at NASA before she was acknowledged for her work and genius. Tons of white men had tried prior to Dorothy, to figure out how to use this new math machine. Dorothy taught herself how to use the machine with intuitive knowledge and some light reading. When the white men started coming to her to learn, it was only then that Vivian gave her the position she deserved. Dorothy was the first black supervisor at NASA. Even when the white man has his foot on the white woman’s neck she still finds a way to look down her nose at a black woman.

All the Becky’s weren’t completely bad though. Kathy’s supervisor had a secretary who at times seemed to be uncomfortable with the racism that Kathy was experiencing but never spoke up. I suppose it’s hard to talk with a foot on your neck. In the end she offers Kathy a wedding gift: pearls that Kathy had mentioned she couldn’t afford. I am still deciding whether this was a peace-offering or charity.

Laws Are Not For White People

The federal government passed laws to desegregate schools. The state of Virginia didn’t care. State laws allowed the schools to remain segregated. Mary Jackson (Janelle Monae) had to win a court case to attend an all white school to become an engineer. She had to convince a judge who blatantly told her that he had no intention of respecting federal law and planned on upholding the racist traditions of his forefathers.

Mary convinced the judge to allow her to go to an all white school by appealing to his white male privilege and narcissism. Mary took a seat in the front of a class full of white men and became an engineer.

The acting was great! Every time I see Janelle in a movie I am pleasantly surprised. We all know that Octavia Spencer is a force to be reckoned with. But who I am most impressed by is Taraji. I used to feel like she was the same person in all her roles. I can always detect the D.C. hood chick in her, whether she is playing a cop or a golf instructor. But this time she embodied Kathy and nailed the role.

Now I have to read the book. I know my mind will be blown and I will have to add to the list of black things I didn’t know.

Go see the movie.


5 Affirmation to Help You Conquer 2017

Walk into 2017 with purpose. Trust yourself and stay focused. Here is an affirmation to assist with that:

I am always at the right place at the right time, engaged in the right activities with the right people.



Look past appearances. The ability to do this will help you keep a positive attitude. A good attitude is good for your pressure. When you find yourself in a challenging predicament repeat this affirmation to yourself:

Everything is always working out for me. 


When your bank account isn’t reflecting all the abundance that is your birthright, you can help change the tide with this:

I am in divine flow. Money flows to me in avalanches, without ceasing and with ease.

(if you ain’t new here, you already know this one.)

Some of us know depression well. It is a family member. For some people, a distant relative that only visits occasionally and for others it is a twin sister. Here is an affirmation to remind you there is nothing you can do nor “feel” that will separate you from the love of God:

I am made in the image and likeness of God. I am enough. I am important and have something special to offer the world. I matter.

For those of your that have altars and/or meditate, here are some affirmations to help call in the Holy Spirit. This affirmation will help your tap into your intuition:

I am the co-creator of my life. I am a spiritual being having a human experience. I am led by righteousness. Use me.

You know I am a girl who loves affirmations but affirmations alone will not change your life. Change requires action! After you have said all of the affirmations to create the energy/vibration around the thing you want to do, make sure you DO something. Write your book, take that class, start your business and change your habits. When you lose momentum return to the affirmations but don’t quit, keep moving! Happy New Year!