How to survive a road trip with a 4 year old.

My first road trip with King occurred when he was a toddler and we travelled from Virginia to Kentucky. This is a ten hour drive. With the short person it was fourteen. After one of the stops King refused to get back into the carseat. His back stiffened refusing to move. Then his entire body went limp. I couldn’t blame him, we were ill prepared.

My mother, King  and I just got back from a road trip. Based on this experience, I have figured out that the trip should correspond to the child’s age. King is four so roads trips including him should be no longer than four hours. Now enter Big momma, yemoja energy into the room. Yeye bullied me into taking a 6 hour trip to Charolette, North Carolina to visit my great aunt. My great aunt is the oldest living relative out of the 9 children my great grandmother gave birth to. She is 89; she can out walk you, will fight you to wash the dishes and expects to be carried to the hairdresser every two weeks to cover her gray.

For this trip I tried to be a little more prepared. We still had to make more stops than usually making the trip 7 hours instead of 6.  First tip, pack snacks! This seems obvious but being trapped in a car with a short person who is confined to a car seat will require food. Lots of food! If you think you have over packed, pack some more. I made turkey sandwiches, packed apple sauce, oranges, graham crackers, carrots, yogurt, granola, juice and water. That was for King alone. Then I packed snacks for Yeye and I. We had two bags full of snacks.

Invest in electronics. More than one option is preferable because kids like options. Again for emphasis, it is necessary since they are trapped in a carseat. King had his personal ipad kindle and we bought a portable dvd player. Also make a child friendly playlist so that you can sing songs together to past the time. King’s favorite song right now is “Larry Boy”. It’s very catchy and reminds me of a show tune but after hearing it for the 413th time, I’m good on family road trips for the rest of the summer.

I also recommend buying a backseat organizer so that your backseat won’t end up looking like the inside of a dump truck. I still haven’t figured out how to NOT have french fries buried in every crevice. Not eating in the car is not a reasonable option when you’re stuck in traffic with a hungry and tired child. To remedy this King vacuums my backseat every weekend. He thinks its fun and I revel in it. I know there will come a time where he will abhor doing any chore I request of him.

 

Also, make frequent bathroom stops. Even if the short person says they don’t have to go, insist that they try. I guarantee you that ten minutes after you leave the rest stop your child will start whining that they have to go pee. For my very trill parents bring along a portable toilet if you wish. That life is not for me. I have a boy so he can piss on the street if I’m under pressure………. judge yourself!

Thanksgiving will probably be the first time King travels on a plane. Moms (or Dads) out there do you have any tips? Leave them in the comments. And remember, I love you and want the best for you. Namaste!

 

 

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Purple Colored Rage: 3 ways to use lavender

Satan tried it, but I’m a demon slayer. The recent political climate has made me physically ill. I’ve tried various coping mechanisms. The first was to flee. I refused to watch the news, I closed down my facebook account and kept checking the date on my passport. Family is an anchor, if it weren’t for the guys I would be in another country right now. Cuba is looking very inviting and I still have family in Jamaica.

Then here comes sadness. I’ve been in my feelings; feeding them bagels, fries and refined sugar. Finally arriving at rage, my inner seething literally broke my immune system down. During the MLK weekend and the inauguration weekend I was sick in bed unable to do anything but sleep.

So my first order of action is MORE self care. Loving on myself is priority number one. I must be more intentional with taking care of myself which means trying new things for the benefit of my total wellness. I reintroduced myself to lavender. I haven’t been a fan in the past but I have found three ways to integrated lavender into my life and receive its calming benefit.

I drink Yogi’s Stress Relief Honey Lavender Tea. I made the mistake of drinking this tea at the day job and kept nodding off while the children were talking to me. Don’t be like me. Drink it before going to bed for optimum results. Another thing that has been helping me maintain is the use of oils. While decluttering I found a vial of lavender and vanilla oil. I place a few drops on temples and wrists during meditation. Focusing on the scent helps me find stillness quickly.

The family fave is Ganga incense. It is a mixture of cinnamon, lavender and jasmine. If heaven had a smell, this would be it. You only have to burn it for a few minutes for it to permeate the house. It changes the vibe instantly.
I know things appear bleak but take care of yourself. Remember that not much freedom fighting can be done from the inside of a straitjacket.

Namaste.

 

 

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5 Affirmation to Help You Conquer 2017

Walk into 2017 with purpose. Trust yourself and stay focused. Here is an affirmation to assist with that:

I am always at the right place at the right time, engaged in the right activities with the right people.

 

 

Look past appearances. The ability to do this will help you keep a positive attitude. A good attitude is good for your pressure. When you find yourself in a challenging predicament repeat this affirmation to yourself:

Everything is always working out for me. 

 

When your bank account isn’t reflecting all the abundance that is your birthright, you can help change the tide with this:

I am in divine flow. Money flows to me in avalanches, without ceasing and with ease.

(if you ain’t new here, you already know this one.)

Some of us know depression well. It is a family member. For some people, a distant relative that only visits occasionally and for others it is a twin sister. Here is an affirmation to remind you there is nothing you can do nor “feel” that will separate you from the love of God:

I am made in the image and likeness of God. I am enough. I am important and have something special to offer the world. I matter.

For those of your that have altars and/or meditate, here are some affirmations to help call in the Holy Spirit. This affirmation will help your tap into your intuition:

I am the co-creator of my life. I am a spiritual being having a human experience. I am led by righteousness. Use me.

You know I am a girl who loves affirmations but affirmations alone will not change your life. Change requires action! After you have said all of the affirmations to create the energy/vibration around the thing you want to do, make sure you DO something. Write your book, take that class, start your business and change your habits. When you lose momentum return to the affirmations but don’t quit, keep moving! Happy New Year!

Namaste,

Thembi

 

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The Importance of a Safe Space for mother and child

Last week I went to a meet and greet for Ms. Wright’s Way. Ashley Wright is a breast-feeding, baby wearing, bed sharing and using common sense advocate. I follow her on all her social media except for Facebook. I am on a timeout from Facebook until further notice. You can still catch me on twitter and Instagram. My favorite right now is snap chat. The best stories are told there.

ashley-wright

It is not often that I can get out to do things alone. If I’m going somewhere then the short person has to go too. Everything ain’t for everybody so often times I opt out of things because it’s not child friendly. Wright offered a space that children could come and for FREE. The opportunity to fellowship with liked minded people is a blessing. Having your kid invited is your blessing pressed down and running over. We met at the Madison House in DC. It’s a home turned boutique and a mental health safe space. I bought two cute amethyst crystals from there.

amethyst

I heard a new part of Wright’s story during the meet and greet which is her’s to tell. I will just say bad-asses are made by the circumstance of their lives and I salute them.

The short person had plenty of other children to play with. The roar of the children often got louder than Wright. But she didn’t miss a beat, she kept talking and engaging with us as if she weren’t in a volume battle with banshee.

The energy in the place was sweet; accurately defining Wright’s following as “the village”. I introduced myself to Ashley Wright since I had driven 45 minutes from my Virginia suburban home. My “hey Ashley”, was met with a look of familiarity and a warm embrace. Pause for the super sweet sister moment.

village

I hope more entrepreneurs learn that there is a market for events that are child friendly. I pay an exorbitant amount of money in gym fees because it includes daycare. Dear yoga studios, please get hip to this.

I am taking notes and learning from every event I attend trying to turn my side joint into my main joint. If I ever invite you to something or ask you to pay to come see me; best believe the kid(s) can come too.

Be better.
Do better.
Namaste.

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3 reasons Capoeira is the perfect martial art for brown boys!

If you are anything like me you desire to wear your child out. We want guaranteed naps and nights where the short person stays in their room all night from pure exhaustion. Soccer, dance class, piano lessons are supposed to help with social/emotional and brain development. But let’s be honest mommies, we are just trying to have them take at least an hour nap and/or sleep through the night.

Why is capoeira the martial art of my choosing?

It’s African-duh?!

  • Capoeira is a fighting style derived from slaves captured by the Portuguese and taken to Brazil. These slaves were from Angola and used their martial arts in rebellion against their slave owners. The movements include lots of kicks because many slaves fought with their hands bound. There are angles and twist that resemble dance moves because these ancient people fought with large collars around their necks. What looks like dance moves is a strategy to disguise capoeira as a martial art. Slave owners thought their slaves were just “playing” when they were really training. Also, I want my son to know that Asians have not cornered the market on martial arts.


Capoeira teaches that your opponent can also be your friend.

  • You must shake your opponent’s hand before sparing (also called playing). Intelligence is high on the list of traits I want my son to have but above that is compassion. It is important to me that my son connects to humanity in a positive way; looking for the light before the darkness. But rest assured if the darkness should reveal itself King will be able to kicks its ass thanks to Capoeira.

Capoeira teaches discipline and strategy.

  • I think the two go hand-in-hand. A person has to find their opponent’s rhythm. This fighting style has a heart beat. The instruments guide you, the singing channels the chi/prana. A person has to anticipate their opponent’s next move. There are fake me outs and unexpected tricks sprinkled throughout this martial art form. Mostly though, it feels like home.

King is a natural. I’m excited to watch his journey. Check out this family if you’re in the DMV area and want lessons. Namaste.

 

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