Purple Colored Rage: 3 ways to use lavender

Satan tried it, but I’m a demon slayer. The recent political climate has made me physically ill. I’ve tried various coping mechanisms. The first was to flee. I refused to watch the news, I closed down my facebook account and kept checking the date on my passport. Family is an anchor, if it weren’t for the guys I would be in another country right now. Cuba is looking very inviting and I still have family in Jamaica.

Then here comes sadness. I’ve been in my feelings; feeding them bagels, fries and refined sugar. Finally arriving at rage, my inner seething literally broke my immune system down. During the MLK weekend and the inauguration weekend I was sick in bed unable to do anything but sleep.

So my first order of action is MORE self care. Loving on myself is priority number one. I must be more intentional with taking care of myself which means trying new things for the benefit of my total wellness. I reintroduced myself to lavender. I haven’t been a fan in the past but I have found three ways to integrated lavender into my life and receive its calming benefit.

I drink Yogi’s Stress Relief Honey Lavender Tea. I made the mistake of drinking this tea at the day job and kept nodding off while the children were talking to me. Don’t be like me. Drink it before going to bed for optimum results. Another thing that has been helping me maintain is the use of oils. While decluttering I found a vial of lavender and vanilla oil. I place a few drops on temples and wrists during meditation. Focusing on the scent helps me find stillness quickly.

The family fave is Ganga incense. It is a mixture of cinnamon, lavender and jasmine. If heaven had a smell, this would be it. You only have to burn it for a few minutes for it to permeate the house. It changes the vibe instantly.
I know things appear bleak but take care of yourself. Remember that not much freedom fighting can be done from the inside of a straitjacket.




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3 Ways to Shake That Load Off

Is your load particularly heavy? Have you failed to turned off your electronics? Do you go to sleep with the tv blasting the news? Do you talk to people about a whole bunch of heavy/negative stuff? Bless your heart, me too. We have to do better, we have to be a conduit not an empath. Negative energy must flow through us. We can not absorb it. Here are 3 ways to shake that load off aka let go of negative energy.

Commune with Nature

Take your shoes and socks off and rub your feet in the grass. Ask mother earth to carry away the negative energy and replace it with her loving energy. Sunbathe if possible. If you are able to sunbathe in the nude you will have the most optimal results.

Take a Spiritual Bath

You can see a priest or priestess and allow them to give you a bath or you can order online a bath already made here. Here is DIY video of how you can make your own:

Don’t say I never gave you anything.

Have a Good Cry

Let it out. Have a sister friend, partner or husband hold you, while you have a good ugly cry. Advise your comforter that you need to release and they are not to say or do anything besides hold space for you. If your husband is super awesome like mine, a good joke is a nice follow-up to this cleansing process.

Take care of yourself and each other!


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Keeping The Short Person Chemical Free This Summer

You all should know by now that I love most products by Babyganics and California Baby. This fact doesn’t change in the summertime. Make sure you use sunscreen, yes, you too, mothers of melanated babies! Put the d@mn sunscreen on! My favorite is  California Baby, it has the cleanest ingredients of the store-bought products I’ve tried. However it is priced a $16.99 for a 2.9oz bottle at Target.  It leaves my short person with a pinkish tint yet you only need a small amount. With Babyganic’s sunscreen you get more for your buck. $9.99 for a 6oz bottle. It also has a greater SPF. However, you will have to reapply more often.

sunscreen california baby

As the mother of a rambunctious 3 year old boy, I recognize the loving relationship boys have with dirt. King is always asking to go to the park, take a walk/go hiking and/or go swimming. He loves nature and I hate bugs. I’m am very suburban. Don’t judge my life. If you follow me on snapchat and Instagram you may have noticed  the picture of my homemade bug repellant. While walking into the house I was accosted by a sea of gnats. My level of irritation sparked me into action. Promptly after showering, I abracadabraed a concoction together and sprayed my door, porch light & into the air near the front of my door. Gnats don’t want it with me! We have had no more problems.

This homemade repellant is too strong for the short person & I definitely don’t need him rubbing it into his eyes. Here are of a few store-bought, gentle and effective brands. I don’t like the smell of citronella in general, most DEET-free natural products have some form of citronella in it, so I’m pretty much out of luck.
bite blocker

California Baby’s repellant has a citronella smell that isn’t as strong as pure citronella but it comes pretty close. Burt’s Bees has a brand that is mixed with lavender. I found that to be the least offensive to my nose. The best smelling repellant is Skin So Soft by Avon but it is the least effective and requires many reapplications. Off, has even gotten on the band wagon and created a fragrance free version of their product. I still can’t pronounce any of the ingredients though. Last but certainly not least, Bite Blocker gets an honorable mention. I have heard nothing but rave reviews although I have yet to try it. I will let you know as soon as it shows up at my door. God bless the inventor of online shopping.

Hey Moms, if you have a mimosa in the morning, wine a lunch and a stiff drink at dinner; I am not judging you. Well, just a little, but I recognize that summertime can be challenging. The children are home from school, eating you out of a house and home and expect you to entertain them especially if they are elementary school age and younger. That is enough to lead any civilized person to drink. If you are putting back one too many and forget to put the sunscreen and/or bug repellant on the kids and the kids come home bumpy and tender; don’t fret.  Break off a big piece of that aloe plant and rub them down. Aloe will heal both the burns and inflammation.


Enjoy your short people, they will never be this short again!


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This is 39

This is the last year of my thirties. I am officially adulting. 40 is grown woman status. These years have provided some wisdom. Like auntie Oprah, these are the thing I know for sure on my 39th orbit around the sun:

My resting b!tch face has served me well. Instead of 39, I look 29. Some of this is due to genetics and lifestyle but duly note that I have no laugh or frown lines. The stillness in my face that you mistake as pissy is an ancient secret for preserving youth. Thank you rbf.

Dear hoteps (they were called “conscious” back in my day), I am changing the game. I was your prey for far too many years. I am not a victim, I was a willing participant but I am no longer under the spell of your patriarchal/homophobic black power rhetoric. I was not placed here just to grow your seed, cook your food and give your offspring African names. Guess what? I sometimes dye my hair blond. Build a bridge and get over it. It has nothing to do with me having Eurocentric standards of beauty or holding Beynonsense as the standard of black beauty. Not that I owe you an explanation or anything, but gray hair is easier to cover with light color than dark. Fewer touch-ups. Vanity runs in my family, it’s in the genes. Understand fake Farrakhan  that my hair color has to do with looking forever youthful. And don’t y’all love a young and tender thoroughbred (but she gotta have natural hair though,right)? Y’all still giving Dr. Umar money for his school?  I was just wondering.

Gossip is for middle school. If you are in your thirties and still engaging in gossip I’m going to pray for you. Please know that the same people that you are dishing the tea with will be airing your dirty laundry soon after. A gossip cannot be trusted. I can’t be friends with people I cannot trust. I’m too old to make new friends. Just kidding, not really. Don’t be a gossip.

Black people need to figure out ways to tame our crazy. Trust me, I understand we have plenty of things that drive us to madness. But we can choose not to go. Mental illness is a real thing in our community. You can’t church it away, pray  it away, intellectualized it away, or call it a white people thing. It must be addressed as the disease that it is. I recommend combining ancient ways and modern medicine. We are a product of both. Exercise, diet and lifestyle can help. But if necessary, take the damn pills. Yoga tames my crazy, and I am so grateful for this tool!

39 pic

You can be a mother and still have dreams of your own. Do not sacrifice yourself, your happiness or your sanity for motherhood. Martyrdom is played out like trap music. No, that’s just wishful thinking. But really, Jesus was the last human sacrifice. Figure out a way to parent effectively and still do things that bring you joy. Fight for your happiness. It is the only thing worth fighting for. You are a mother. You know magic.


Find out more about how I recovered from hoteps in my new ebook:



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