yogi

What opening your throat chakra really feels like.

 

It is real cute to meditate, hold crystals and chant. This is doing throat chakra work but that is not the only work that has to be done. Opening your throat chakra should be uncomfortable. Blocks do not move without resistance.

Opening your throat chakra is telling your mother she can no longer manipulate you. It’s telling her that you will not be guilted or shamed into obedience. It will be scary.  Then it’s liberating. You start to feel at home in your big girl panties and matching pumps.

Unblocking the throat means telling your good girlfriend good-bye. You mean no malice but she has  got to go. You are not a garbage can and she can no longer dump on you. Offer her a referral for a therapist or send her an invoice. Just let it be known that you love her but you can’t be around her. Do no harm but take no sh!t.

I remember when I first started standing up for myself. It felt weird to only consider myself and say what was really on my mind. It is most difficult with people you love. I often found that when my intention was to do no harm and I spoke my truth, I suddenly felt relieved. All these years I had been waiting to exhale. The major key here is that it doesn’t matter how the other person responds. Most of the time people respected what I had to say even if they were initially offended. And I was still okay when some people never got over it.

Saying no without explanation was the hardest for me. I have been conditioned to decline with commentary. Why? To accomplish this you’re just going to have to jump  feet first. Start saying no over the phone so you don’t have to look at people’s faces. Then work your way up to face to face one word convos.

If you are doing throat chakra work aka standing up for yourself,  drink throat coat tea. Stay heavy-handed on the honey and lemon. Do a lot of deep breathing and expect your throat to be a little sore.

3 ways to tap into your intuition

Becoming a mother requires that you activate your superpowers. The ability to tap into your intuition is one of them. The ability to make decisions based solely on your gut, holy spirit, intuition or whatever you’d like to call it; and the ability to be confident that you have made the right decision requires practice.

Shut The F*&K Up!

The first thing you need to do is shut up.  You cannot hear your intuition if you are always flapping your gums or thinking (which is mentally flapping your gums). You must learn to be still and listen. Find a quiet a spot, I always recommend sitting on the floor for grounding purposes, acknowledge your intuition and ask it to help you make a decision. Start with a small specific question and then work up to the larger more critical decisions. It will take time to differentiate between your own voice and your intuition. Here is a tip, your intuition will only vibrate at the level of love, it is you God consciousness. Any answer that does not have love at the center is not your intuition leading you. Your intuition will never tell you to do harm but it will protect you from harm.

Listen To Your Gut.

Secondly, learn your body. That uneasy feeling you get in your stomach when a sketchy person walks in the room or when the hair on your arms or the back of your neck stand up. What was going on the last time you got goose bumps? These are physical signs of your intuition talking to you. Your body is responding involuntarily and the responses are information. Listen to your body. Click To Tweet

Get Free Writing.

Lastly, free write. One of my favorite books, The Artist’s Way  explains free writing and provides exercises, I highly recommend reading it.  Free write for five minutes, brain dump everything without thinking about or evaluating it. Do not worry about punctuation, grammar or spelling. Simply get the words on the paper. Set a timer. When the timer goes off get a clean sheet of paper. Ask your intuition a specific question, a superficial one. Try the free writing for 90 days before asking it about the tough stuff.  After you have asked your intuition to guide you, allow the answer to come through you onto the paper without thinking too hard or judging what is is being written. I recommend having a journal specifically for free writes and another for answers from your intuition. Let me know if these tips helped you and share with me if you have a different way of tapping into your intuition. I’d love to read about it in the comments.

 

7 Unusual Facts about a Fat Black Yogi

Even though I call myself a yogi I don’t really know what that means. I’m really not a Zen kind of person but I am always seeking enlightenment. Suppression of my rage is a daily fight. Rage is depression in Shango clothing. I’m on a life long journey to tame my crazy. Here’s the tea: only when you surrender to your rage, allowing yourself to feel it completely, will you find ways to calm it. Rage requires patience and diplomacy. Here are some unusual facts about me as I learn to manage mine:

    1. In yoga teacher training during our lesson about the Yamas and Niyamas, I was battling gnats. While learning the life principle Ahimsa/nonviolence, I was smacking the sh*t out of gnats. I am not a nature girl. I appreciate nature’s beauty and wonder but I prefer to appreciate it from the window of my air conditioned home. I want to challenge myself this coming year. I’ve considered hiking. I will let you know how that goes. If I’m lucky, a side effect will be a change in my body; which brings me to the second unusual fact….

      look at my cute cute & color!
      look at my cute cut & color!
    2. I gained the thirty pounds back that I lost after giving birth to the short person. On this side of the emotional pendulum I have less discipline. I’m not practicing Tapas. I let my sweet tooth run wild. Instead of doing more yoga, I do none- unless I’m teaching. And now here I am as the fat belly Buddha. I know clients feel anxiety and consider getting a refund when they see that a chunky black lady with a pot belly will be leading their practice. And my ego -(another thing I am  working on) is pleased when clients end up panting, surprised and satisfied by the time savasana finally rolls around.

      follow me on snap chat @akingsma
      follow me on snap chat @akingsma
    3. I may curse while leading you through your practice. I have a potty mouth and I am really not working on that. Om shanti.
    4. My biggie yoga pants are my favorite. Clients can predict what type of class we are going to have when I’m rocking them. biggie-revised
    5. I’m a seafood junkie and I wear fur. If I’m not eating meat it’s because of my waistline not compassion for farm animals.”Tell peta my mink is dragging on the floor.”
    6. Ever since the election my personal yoga practice has suffered. Winter time plus my disappointment in America has heightened my seasonal affect disorder. I am no longer feeling innovative or experimental.  To fill up my bag of tricks, I find unique poses on instagram and try them out in yoga class. Sometimes the clients and I are practicing an asana for the first time together in class.

      My petty white woman game is strong!
    7. I belong to the mommy gang that is too hard on ourselves because we are comparing ourselves to an instagram highlight reel. I see you with all your imperfections. You see me with all of mine. But we are perfect in our children’s eyes and we must remember this! At least until they get into middle school and start judging us. Be present for every moment, even the times that are painful.

Namaste,

Thembi

The Importance of a Safe Space for mother and child

Last week I went to a meet and greet for Ms. Wright’s Way. Ashley Wright is a breast-feeding, baby wearing, bed sharing and using common sense advocate. I follow her on all her social media except for Facebook. I am on a timeout from Facebook until further notice. You can still catch me on twitter and Instagram. My favorite right now is snap chat. The best stories are told there.

ashley-wright

It is not often that I can get out to do things alone. If I’m going somewhere then the short person has to go too. Everything ain’t for everybody so often times I opt out of things because it’s not child friendly. Wright offered a space that children could come and for FREE. The opportunity to fellowship with liked minded people is a blessing. Having your kid invited is your blessing pressed down and running over. We met at the Madison House in DC. It’s a home turned boutique and a mental health safe space. I bought two cute amethyst crystals from there.

amethyst

I heard a new part of Wright’s story during the meet and greet which is her’s to tell. I will just say bad-asses are made by the circumstance of their lives and I salute them.

The short person had plenty of other children to play with. The roar of the children often got louder than Wright. But she didn’t miss a beat, she kept talking and engaging with us as if she weren’t in a volume battle with banshee.

The energy in the place was sweet; accurately defining Wright’s following as “the village”. I introduced myself to Ashley Wright since I had driven 45 minutes from my Virginia suburban home. My “hey Ashley”, was met with a look of familiarity and a warm embrace. Pause for the super sweet sister moment.

village

I hope more entrepreneurs learn that there is a market for events that are child friendly. I pay an exorbitant amount of money in gym fees because it includes daycare. Dear yoga studios, please get hip to this.

I am taking notes and learning from every event I attend trying to turn my side joint into my main joint. If I ever invite you to something or ask you to pay to come see me; best believe the kid(s) can come too.

Be better.
Do better.
Namaste.

4 things to do when you’re in a creative rut.

Consume art © Copyright 2010 CorbisCorporation

This feels very indulgent and like a waste of time but it works. Watch movies, specifically ones that you have no interest in. For me that would mean watching Captain America. I’m not a comic book head unless you include Archie. I prefer dramatic movies and comedies. Also, search Netflix. I discovered several movies that won awards at Sundance but never made it to the movie theatre. There is a genre of independent black filmmakers with limited budgets and great imaginations. Find them and be inspired.

Re-read books or buy new ones. I am currently re-reading the Artist Way, The Alchemist, Secrets of a Millionaire Mind, and Sacred Woman. All of these books are tattered and falling apart. This means I refer to them as needed. Your library doesn’t have to be vast but it must be dense. Books of great substance are necessary and you should be able to return to them as a reference.  My summer reading list includes Big Magic, Conscious Capitalist,  and Year of Yes. Consume books. Turn off the TV and read. I recommend a physical book which requires you to turn pages instead of swiping your finger.

Listen to musicjazz

I recommend listening to live music, whether it be jazz, go-go or reggae. Dance to live instruments , it builds fire in the body and draws out the kundalini energy. If you can’t find your way to live music then listen to music without lyrics. This stimulates the part of the brain that inspires creativity. Without lyrics you can decide for yourself what story it is telling. You can focus in on one instrument or you can notice how sweet the instruments sound collectively. Music without lyrics gets the blood flowing in the brain. Defeating the rut requires movement/action.

Ritualtake-comfort-in-ritual

Even if you are not religious you must have some type of ritual that counters negativity. If you are religious you already have things in your arsenal. I will speak to the religious folks first. Whatever your prayer life is right now, up the ante. It is time to work overtime. Schedule prayer into your day. Set alarms on your phone as reminders. Ding!, says my phone “drink water, stretch, pray.”

Express your concerns to God. Let him know where you are frustrated and blocked. Let him know that you trust him to give you the tools to conquer this problem. Then wait for the answer, this happens in meditation. Then declare it as done-affirmation.

For my folks who don’t subscribe to any religion and aren’t certain if there is a God, get a journal. Free write for one minute. Use a timer. No judgment, grammar be damned and no self editing. Simply write. Then write what you want to manifest. Write a clear and specific declaration.

Example:

I am filled with new ideas. I have 2 months worth of new content ready to be published on my blog.

I earn additional income each month with online classes, book sales and yoga workshops. I declare that I have the creativity, discipline and follow through to make this happen.

 

Free write and write your declarations for 21 days straight. You will start to see things turn around for you before the 21 days are over but don’t stop the ritual, continue for 21 days.

Have sex sex image

If you are in a committed, safe and loving relationship. Get it in! Often! Remember that kundalini energy I wrote about earlier? Orgasms ignite the energy that is responsible for euphoria. Great art happens in extremes. In times of great depression & sadness or in times of great joy. I deal in the light so I’m an advocate of creating joy filled.

If you do not have a partner, no need to worry. Get to know yourself in a real intimate way. Use toys, imagery, and/or your own hand just make sure you enjoy yourself, and do it often. The frequency matters because we are trying to pull ourselves out of a rut. This requires work. But, this work is fun!

I hope you get back to creating great things soon and remember this blog is here for you if you ever find yourself in the creative valley again.

Remember, I love you and want the best for you,

A King’s Ma