Happy New Year! Let us commit to even more radical self-love in 2015. 2015 = 8. Eight is very spiritual number. If you are into numerology, Google it. A part of my radical self-care rituals include regular doctor’s appointments. I got my first mammogram over the winter break. I’m considered early for this type of testing but since my paternal aunt died of breast cancer, I figured it couldn’t hurt. So how was it? Cold. I didn’t really feel cared for, I felt like a specimen. I had heard horror stories about the pain but I really didn’t find it painful; it was more uncomfortable than anything. Your breasts are smashed between two slabs of plastic. I made the tech talk to me and I made her laugh because I wanted her to humanize me, think about me as a person. The plastic compresses until the very edge of your comfort level. Just when you are ready to curse the tech out the machine stops its compressions. They take images of every awkward pose you can imagine. Then the unspeakable happen. Old lady tech jawn put her hands on my face. Welp. No good followed this.
“Ma’am if you touch my face again there will be a misunderstanding.”
There on in, tech lady was able to verbally instruct me on how to contort my body to please he tit smashing machine. I’m closer to forty than I am to thirty so there is no side stepping this test. However, for you lovelies that want to show your tatas love. Here are a few feel good methods.
- Massage your tatas. Massage improves circulation and you can also feel any abnormalities.
- Quit wearing bras with underwire. Dear sister with the D cup, do not fret. I know you do not want your breast dusting the ground. For you I offer the Soma brand bra. They can be a little pricey. Catch the sales and buy two at a time. Also wash in the delicate cycle or hand wash. Preserve your investment. Read more here about the underwire breast cancer connection.
- Quit wearing deodorant with antiperspirants in it. You are supposed to sweat. Your lymph nodes cannot clear themselves if you don’t. It is a choice if you want to stink or not but sweat you must. Here are some deodorants that are not antiperspirants. And for all you super-duper purist , you can make your own. Here is a recipe. Send me some if you make it!
- Avoid artificial sweeteners. Diet anything is a no-no. Avoid sugarless things usually containing aspartame.
- Say kind words to your tatas. She is always listening. Maybe she doesn’t look the same after weight gain, breast-feeding or age. She is still a mighty warrior and worthy to be praised. Namaste tatas, I love you!